Beyond
by sunzeng
Summary: The reapers have been defeated but at what cost to humanity? Ground zero. Devastation. Will Miranda find her beloved Shepard, left behind in the blast? The fate of those left behind and that of the Normandy have yet to be found.
1. Chapter 1: Left Behind

**CHAPTER 1: LEFT BEHIND**

Alliance Command was beginning to receive reports from Earth via the quantum entanglement. The worst was over. The Reapers were in fact destroyed, killed. Alliance ships exit out of FTL and approach Earth and the Citadel to access the damage and begin the restoration of Earth.

Hackett stands on the bridge of his command ship's looking out the view ports at the damaged arms of the citadel. Pieces of the Citadel arms had broken in half. "Damn…"

"Sir, an Asari dreadnaught has offered us assistance while they search for their own survivors. Two class-F private fighter jets are in orbit near the center ring of the Citadel."

He stood there thinking for a moment with his fingers near his mouth. He knew what he had to do.

"I want search and rescue teams assembled and sent out within the half hour. I want to know what the hell happened at the impact center at the Citadel tower. Find out if Shepard's body can be salvaged. Do it quickly. We owe him this… His sacrifice today will not be forgotten!"

The two Alliance security detail salute Admiral Hackett and depart at once.

 **CITADEL**

Parts of the Citadel wings were damaged at filled with ash. While other parts remained intact and functional. Lights of buildings remained. It was unclear how many people perished on the Citadel. Smoke continues to rise off several burned out buildings. The atmospheric shielding protecting the inner wings of the Citadel were holding, for now, but it was unclear if they'd fail completely. Time was of the essences. The Asari dreadnaught had small crafts landing in areas where the shield integrity was intact. The Asari commandos and medic rushed to help those still alive or wounded from the blast.

The Alliance sent out search and rescue teams in and around the ring and tower where the beam and crucible merged. Time was running short for anyone still alive. Every minute counted.

"No way, anyone survived this." The alliance soldiers scope the debris looking for anyone.

Shepard had to do it. Had to end the Reapers once and for all… Anderson, EDI and Miranda were in his thoughts as he fired his pistol. The explosion had thrown him backwards. The floor all around him buckled under the pressure of the explosion. Commander Shepard remained motionless surrounded by debris all around him. His back propped up against a solid cold piece of metal beam. His armor remained scorched, burned, from the blast from Harbinger. His left leg pinned under heavy beams. He was bleeding and remained unconscious.

"Commander Shepard. Do you read me?" Miranda calls out trying to get an answer hoping his communication device was still active and if by chance, he was still alive.

The dead silence on the other end was wearing thin on her nerves. She was beginning to fear the worst. She couldn't stand by and wait for word of his death. She had to find him. Miranda had little faith in the Alliance or anyone else to give a damn about him, except maybe Liara but the chances of that were slim. The Normandy had departed the system when the beam activated and hasn't returned since.

"Damn it, Shepard. Where the hell are you? You promised me, damn it!" Miranda said over her audio comms hoping he'd hear her. Miranda activates her Omni-tool bringing up scans of the nearby area while she carefully combed through the extremely weakened citadel tower. The last known location she was made aware of.

"Anyone out there?" The other alliance officer yells out loud hoping to find someone, anyone.

Miranda continues walking through corridor's littered with dead bodies. She was repulsed with how much death had occurred. She watches as one of the keepers within the corridor examines the dead. Miranda turns her head quickly looking at what seemed to be a flash of light. She wasn't alone. Miranda taps on her Omni tool pulling up the grid map of her location. She thought to herself. She had to be getting close to the heart of the tower.

 **Shepard's subconscious**

White smoke surrounded Shepard as he tries to find his way. He walks slowly looking around. "Shepard…" The voice of Miranda echoed in the distance. "Shepard… Find me…"

"Miranda?" Shepard begins to pick up pace looking everywhere but all he could see was white smoke. "Where are you?"

"Finish this… and find me." Miranda's echoes become louder and Shepard's anxiety was beginning to set in. "Miranda! Where are you?"

Shepard breathes in sharply. His head barely moves to the side as he gasps for more air to fill his lungs. "Aaah!" He tries to move but the pain was too intense. He was pinned and couldn't move.

In the distance, Alliance teams pan out and search the area near the edge of the Citadel tower and what was once the beams location. The environmental shielding was holding but not for long as various sections were giving way to the pressures to the emptiness of deep space.

Shepard breathing becomes labored, struggling to breathe, to move, to do anything to stay alive. He tries to talk, to yell out but he wasn't loud enough. "Mir… anda!" His arm barely moves to try to get up but again he screams out in pain. "Aaah!" He felt like he was on the losing end of this.

"I… promised." Shepard struggles to open his eyes. He barely sees Earth, he felt like he was going blind. A lonely tear runs down the side of his face looking into the stars to find the strength to hold on. _"You can do this! Hold on. I'm not done yet."_

He couldn't give up hope that someone would come and find him. Search for him. Memories from the last time he died didn't give him much comfort. The Alliance gave up on him. Didn't search for him. Liara. She wouldn't let him go. _"Liara…"_

Thoughts of Ashley flood his mind… _"I need to know someone gets out of this alive."_ He couldn't let her die… _No more deaths. It had to stop._ He knew what she wanted to tell him… those three little words she had once said to him. He couldn't. "Take care, Ash."

Shepard tries to move but fails miserable. His breathing continues to be labored and intensive almost feeling he'd pass out. He coughs and moans in extreme pain. Long before the explosion, his heavy skin weaves were saturating his body with enough medi-gel to keep him alive, working to regenerate and promote healing at least until helped arrived. He turns his head trying to stay awake. Shepard moans. "Aahh."

The Alliance soldier turns his head sharply to the left. "Over here… I heard something." They rush over only to find Miranda pointing her gun at them. She lowered it.

"What are you doing here?" One of the Alliance spouts back at her.

"I could ask you the same idiotic question." Miranda said with coldness towards them.

"You don't look hurt…"

"What keen observation skills you have." She remarks with sarcasm.

"I don't have time for your games, lady."

"Neither do I..." Miranda pushes past him and stands at the exit to the corridor seeing a large open area with a long path up ahead. As Miranda approaches, she could hear more people talking. It had to be the Alliance and hopefully news about Commander Shepard. She braced herself.

 **HACKETT'S ALLIANCE FLAGSHIP**

On board Hackett's flag ship, an Alliance officer approaches Hackett's position and salutes him. "Admiral."

"Report."

"They found Admiral Anderson. He didn't make it. Dead sir."

"Well, that's a damn shame."

The Alliance officer hands Hackett a data pad. "We found this man near him…"

He looks at the image and the level of reaper tech over his face and neck. _The Illusive man._ He questions. "And Commander Shepard?" Hackett inquires lowering the data pad.

"We've set up a perimeter wide search from the epic center and outwards. It's a huge place but we've got a lot of Alliance soldiers combing the place. Some have reported finding unknown areas of the Citadel, hallways and caverns full of dead people. It doesn't look good."

"Keep me posted."

The Alliance soldier salutes and departs.

 **CITADEL**

Miranda reaches the top of the walkway finding a large circular room before her. Two Alliance guards walk over towards her denying her access to the room.

"You're not allowed in here."

Miranda watched an alliance soldier zip up a blue body bag. A pang of anxiety ran through her body. "Is… Is that Commander Shepard?" She ask trying to contain her emotions when she spoke his name.

"We haven't found him. Anderson's dead."

Miranda let out a sigh of relief.

"You still haven't told me who you are?"

"Miranda Lawson. I'm searching for Commander Shepard."

"Aren't we all! Son-of-a-bitch defeated the Reapers. He's a damn hero."

 **NEARBY LOCATION**

Several alliance soldiers walk carefully over the rubble near what had to have been the explosion site from up above. "Anyone there?"

Shepard moans. He could hear the voice of some unknown person. Shepard moans again having little strength to yell out.

An Alliance soldier turns his head towards the direction of the moaning. "Hawkins… over here. Going to check it out." As the Alliance soldier comes closer he begins to make out the shape of a body. "Found someone! Could be a survivor!" He calls out as another Alliance soldier rushes over to his location.

They reach Shepard's body and see the N7 dog tag hanging down the side of his chest.

"My god… Commander Shepard?" The Alliance soldier carefully examines Shepard's slightly bruised face, cuts and dried blood stains and burned armor. Large chucks of metal surrounded Shepard's body.

"He's pinned down!" The Alliance soldier carefully accesses the area around Commander Shepard.

"Careful, we don't want those concrete blocks crushing his leg any further." They examine the area trying to find a way to slip him out unharmed.

Shepard opens his eyes only to be blinded by the head gear's flashlights, so he thought. "Help me… please." Shepard pleads trying to stay conscience.

"Hang on, Commander!"

"Find me something to brace up this part so we can release him and get him out from under there." Two more alliance soldiers rush over to help lift and stabilize the heavy blocks of metal.

One of the Alliance medics tries to assess his condition. "He might become paralyzed, if we move him." He places a breathing mask over Shepard's face for him to breathe and to calm him down.

"We don't have a lot of options here! He needs to be moved before this section of the Citadel becomes unstable and loses containment fields!"

The alliance soldier in-charge of the search and rescue contacts his superior. "Admiral Hackett! We found Commander Shepard!"

"Is he alive?"

"Barely…"

"Get him back here, ASAP!"

The medic places a neck brace around his neck. "God only knows what we're dealing with here."

Two Alliance soldiers reach down to pick up and pull Commander Shepard out of the debris. Shepard moans and tries to speak and breathe at the same time. "Find… Mir… anda."

"We're taking you to Hackett's flag ship. Hold on Commander." They place Shepard's body down on an alliance medic stretcher.

"Bring me to…" He gasps. "Miranda Lawson…" He groans. "That's an order!" Shepard tries to stay conscience as they loaded him into one of the Alliance shuttle. "I need… to find her!"

The medic begins taking readings and accessing Commander Shepard's internal injuries. "He's lost a lot of blood. Burns and internal injuries. We need to hurry!" The medic places a lot of medi-gel into the wounds on the side and top shoulder.

"We'll relay the message Commander." The Alliance shoulder looks at Commander Shepard's body.

"Find her… please. Tell her… I…" Shepard closes his eyes and becomes silent. _Shepard…_ Miranda echoes those words in the darkness of Commander Shepard's mind.

Commander Shepard had made Miranda Lawson a promise. He could never make throughout his journey to stop the Reapers until the very end. The point of no return had happened. Miranda was saying goodbye him, on Earth. He didn't want to say goodbye. He couldn't say goodbye.

Miranda gazes upon his face as he comes close to her holographic image. "Finish this Shepard… And find me."

"I will. I promise."

That was the last words he ever spoke to her.

 **CITADEL INNER CHAMBER**

Miranda watched as two Alliance soldiers walked by her with the blue body back holding Admiral Anderson. She walks closer into the room only to find the Illusive man dead on the floor close by. She knew it was him the moment she saw him.

The alliance soldier zipped up the blue body bag but not without noticing Miranda's reaction to him. "Know the guy?"

"Obviously indoctrinated by the looks of it."

"Yeah, no kidding…"

Miranda turns around feeling upset to her stomach. She closed her eyes to calm herself.

"GOD DAMN! WHOO!" An Alliance soldier yells out rushing in to the room. "They found him! They found Commander Shepard body!"

Miranda turned her head towards the Alliance soldier. "Where?" Miranda walks over to the man without another thought. "Where is he? TELL ME NOW!"

"Calm down, lady!" He could see the fierce look in her eyes. "They've taken him on board Hackett's flag ship."

Miranda almost forgot to breath. _"Shepard… You promised me, damn it."_ Miranda turns her head sideways away from the Alliance soldier preparing for the worst possible news. "Is he…?"

"It wasn't good." The Alliance soldier walks past her.


	2. Chapter 2: Set Free

**CHAPTER 2: SET FREE**

 **HACKETT'S ALLIANCE FLAGSHIP**

 **MEDICAL BAY**

Admiral Hackett watches from a distance as the medical staff works on saving Commander Shepard's life.

"How is he doctor?"

"He's suffered internal bleeding. A gunshot wound to his shoulder and side. Burned armor and flesh… We'll remove his armor once we do a full assessment of the damage to his skin. We're keeping his body cool in the meantime. The third degree burns on his forearms are our main concern at the moment. He's struggling to breath but is responding more positively with the breathing apparatus. I clearly do not know what is keeping him alive other than sheer will to live." Dr. Kitzan was a tall attractive middle-aged woman with short brown hair and brown eyes.

"He bought us our future… do everything in your power to make sure he's given that chance. I won't be responsible for letting him die out there. Not again!" Hackett turns looking at the Alliance soldier approaching him as he leaves the medical bay. "Did you find her?"

"She'll be here within a half-hour."

"Good. That'll be all."

The Alliance soldier salutes him and departs.

 **COMMUNICATION ROOM**

Hackett makes his way into the communication room. He contacts the Normandy through the quantum entanglement device. He folds his arms behind his back and waits.

"Admiral Hackett, the Normandy is reporting in."

"Glad to hear it, Joker. Have Dr. Chakwas meet me in the command center's quantum entanglement. It's urgent.

"Does she even have clearance?"

"She does now!" Admiral Hackett stood there waiting impatiently. Dr. Chakwas blue image appears before his eyes.

"Admiral Hackett?"

"We found him. He's alive, barely."

"Have you contacted Miranda Lawson? She knows his medical history better anyone."

"She's been contacted and en route. Reports say she's responsible for his 'resurrection'."

"Yes. Need I remind you, she willingly helped the Alliance and gave us intel on how to put a stop to Cerberus raids on our supply lines. She's no longer apart of Cerberus."

"You're well informed, doctor. I cannot deny or condone her actions. She did help us take down many Cerberus bases of operation. I'll give her that."

"Yes and from what I learned. Ms. Lawson gave Commander Shepard the means to locate the Illusive man's base of operations by putting a tracer on the Cerberus assassin, Kai Leng."

"Shepard never told me where or how he got the information. I ask you… Can she be trusted?" Hackett asks seriously.

"Yes. She's proven her loyalty to Commander Shepard and the Normandy crew when we fought against the Collectors. She can be trusted."

"Her actions… prove useful. We'll need her continued help in years to come. We'll need all the help we can get."

"Agreed."

"Hackett out."

 **ADMIRAL HACKETT'S ALLIANCE FLAGSHIP**

 **HANGER BAY**

Miranda Lawson's ship docks within the Alliance cruiser hanger bay early that morning. Miranda carefully steps out of her ship with Orianna following close behind. Miranda looks apprehensively at the row of four Alliance soldiers standing at attention on both sides with Admiral Hackett in the middle. She glances back at Orianna with some concern. "Stay close, Ori."

Miranda confidently strolls towards them and stands face to face with Admiral Hackett.

He stands with his hands behind his back looking very dominant and with authority. "Glad you could make it, Ms. Lawson."

"How is he?" Miranda asks.

"I've heard about your recent events helping us take down Cerberus." He pauses for a brief moment.

Miranda watches and listens feeling uneasy about this meeting. He was stalling to answer her question.

"Good work out there."

"They needed to be stopped."

"Exactly, right! I know about your past work with Cerberus. And to show good faith in letting the past rest where it may… We need you. We need your help in building a stronger place for humanity. Humanity needs someone with your intelligence and skill set."

Miranda looks down and over towards Orianna. Orianna smiles at her sister.

"Alright… and Shepard?" Miranda asks again.

"He's alive, barely."

A wave of relief and alarm flooded her system. "I need to speak with him."

"He'd like that. Heard he made it an order to find you and bring him to you."

Miranda faintly smiles almost chuckles.

"Something I should know?"

"No…"

 **HACKETT'S FLAG SHIP**

 **MEDICAL BAY**

Two alliance soldiers escort Miranda and Orianna Lawson to meet with the chief medical doctor on board Hackett's flag ship.

Dr. Kitzan looks up from her desk at the strikingly beautiful woman in white. Accompanying her was a much younger woman with similar resemblance in facial features but dressed more like a civilian.

"I'm here to help. Where is he?" Miranda says in an almost cold unwavering voice.

Dr. Kitzan hands press against her desk as the chair moves backwards. She walks over to Miranda and the young woman. "Dr. Susan Kitzan, Chief medical doctor." She extends her hand. Miranda declines folding her arms. "We don't have time for this!"

"I'm glad you came. We've had… complications."

"What kind?" Miranda remains stern in her facial expression. Miranda releases her arms. They walk down the small hallway leading to a private intensive care room just ahead.

"I haven't seen anything like it. His synthetic upgrades have been severely damaged. He'll survive but not without medical help."

Miranda stops at the window placing her fingers on the bottom of the glass slightly. Commander Shepard was hooked up to various medical devices to help stabilize his condition. Dr. Kitzan hands Miranda a data pad.

"I've been ordered to leave him in your care, until Dr. Chakwas arrives. They say you can repair the damage."

Miranda takes the data pad remembering what Shepard told her in her apartment on the Citadel. _"You brought me back, I don't know how…"_

"Thank you." Miranda voice almost cracked but not quite.

Miranda opens the door closing it behind her. She walks cautiously up towards Commander Shepard. He had a thin white blanket covering the lower half of his body. The skin on his chest was pinkish red in color, much like any sunburn. He was resting, effortlessly with the breathing apparatus within his throat. Miranda taps on the data pad to look over the details of his injuries. _"My god…"_

Miranda turns her focus back to Shepard as she notes the third degree burns on his forearms wrapped with sterile white cloth. Infection was a possibility but was being carefully watched and treated. His left arm was wrapped almost up to his armpit; whereas his right forearm was bandaged towards his elbow. She could only assume he was covering and protecting himself from some kind of intense heat or fire explosion. Reports indicated that his armor was badly burned but was removed after careful examination. A few small areas on his thighs where his armor had burned through resulted in second degree burns and bandaged accordingly.

Miranda sighs closing her eyes for a moment. Orianna watched her sister struggle through and almost wanted to rush in and comfort her. Miranda continued onwards reading the rest of the medical report.

The doctor noted that Commander Shepard had also lost a lot of blood. One, due to a gunshot wound to his shoulder but remained superficial. The bullet wound to his left side was removed, stitched up and treated with medi-gel. It remains wrapped with a sterile white cloth.

Miranda gazes upon Shepard's face almost unharmed. A large dark bruise was under his right eye with a small one forming under his left. Several cuts on his face, the ridge of his nose and near his eyebrow all held closed with small thin medi-gel Band-Aid like material.

Her eyes filled with tears. She resisted. _Not now!_ She turns her focus towards the medical devices beeping with rhythm and purpose. The machines continue to regulate his air intake, his blood pressure and heart rate. He was stable.

Miranda tapped on the data pad again to learn the extent of the damage that has been done internally. The internal bleeding from the gunshot had been stopped. His skeletal structure, bone connections still remained fused, intact, unbroken.

 _"_ _Some good news at least. I won't have to build you."_

Miranda noted, that anything related to synthetics, within his body, showed signs of failure. His synthetic eyes were damaged.

 _"_ _They can be replaced."_

The Heavy Weave upgrades he received on board the Normandy was a different matter entirely. The heavy bone weave, the synthetic weave, which made his bones almost unbreakable, was nearly destroyed. Bone regeneration would take longer to heal now but she didn't see anything broken and seemed heavily dosed in medi-gel within his muscles and cells… promoting cell regeneration.

 _"_ _Thank God."_

The question of muscle strength and damage from exertion is unknown. His agility, strength and muscle enhancements gave him that edge against a normal human, an enemy and more but not anymore. That's not what concerned her the most. It was the back-up system she implemented, the synthetic part that would restart his system whenever he flat lined. But now he was being kept alive, regulated and functioning by machines. It began to worry her. That phrase the doctor said to her. He couldn't function without medical technology helping him disturbed her the most. Miranda was surprised he was still alive without those synthetic enhancements that made him above normal and alive.

 _"_ _Has he surpassed the need for them? Can he survive without them being replaced? Will he feel less of a man without those upgrades? I can't have him foolishly get hurt again... trouble always seems to find him. Too risky. I need to fix this."_

Hackett and Dr. Kitzan watch the video feed from within Commander Shepard intensive care's private quarters.

"What's happening in there?" Hackett asks confused. "He's dying isn't he?"

"Hard to tell but she's accessing the damage as I have. She's did do the impossible before."

"She did... But at what cost." Hackett replies unsure what to make of it. He turns and leaves. "Keep me updated, Doctor."

 **SHEPARD'S INTENSIVE CARE UNIT ROOM**

Miranda leans towards him. "Jon… It's Miranda." She touches the side of the bed leaning in more.

"I'm going to fix this. You promised me damn it. Don't you dare die on me, now... You hear me!" Miranda lowers her head for a moment trying to keep her emotions in check. She hated seeing him like this. In so much pain.

"I just… wish I was there… with you." How much she hated not being there with him at the final battle. She looks back up at him lovingly but concerned.

"The Reapers are dead, Shepard. You did it." Miranda leans in to kiss his cheek.

She whispers. "I love you." Miranda leans back touching the side of his cheek with her finger.

Shepard slightly moves his head toward her. He tries to talk but can't with the breathing tube stuck deep within his throat.

Miranda almost lost it. He was responding to her.

"Don't try to talk… Its helping you breathe. I'm here, Shepard… you're safe now." Miranda touches his bald head. "Fight this… I can't lose you… Not now."

Tears escape Orianna's eyes as she watches her sister and Commander Shepard from behind the window glass.

 **NORMANDY SR2**

 **OBSERVATION LOUNGE**

Ashley sits on one of the seats in the observation deck quietly.

"We had to leave…" Liara stands nearby.

Garrus walks over towards the front of the viewport window. "We'll find out what happened and find him."

"Hopefully..."

"That's not all that reassuring, Liara. They left him for dead last time." Ashley stands up.

Liara steps towards Ashley with a bit more passion and anger in her voice. "They'll find him or they'll be hell to pay for leaving him a second time!"

"Why didn't you tell me you had Shepard's body? Why did you hand him over Cerberus?!"

"Don't you think I thought about letting him go in peace? They said they could bring him back!"

"Yeah, they did. But now he's in love with that woman that brought him back to life. I… I never got to tell him. I love him… always will."

"He knew, Ashley." Garrus spoke up.

Liara tilts her head to side. "He wouldn't have sent us away, if he didn't care. He wanted you to survive. He wanted all of us to be alive, even if he couldn't."

"I almost feel sorry for her." Ashley lowers head a little. "I know exactly how it felt losing him. Any word from _Miranda Lawson_?"

"No. We rarely speak."

"It was painful to watch them on Sanctuary… worried about each other. That use to be us."

"LIARA! ASHLEY! GARRUS!" Joker says busting into the room. "They found him! Shepard's alive!"

"What?" Ashley acts stunned and surprised.

"By the goddess!"

"They have him on board Hackett's flag ship but it isn't good. He's in intensive care. Lawson's on the case, she'll fix him. She has to."

Liara stares at Ashley with concern. "We have to know, he'll be fine."

"It's good news. Cheer up guys." Joker frowns slightly.

"Yeah, it is." Ashley begins to smile faintly. "Plot a course back to Earth, Joker!"

"Don't have to ask me twice!" Joker walks briskly out the door.

Ashley sat down on the nearby seating arrangement.

Liara lowers her head.

"Hey… no crying. You're going to make me start crying. Then, I'll have to kick your ass."

"Yeah. You don't want to see a turian cry either." Garrus jokes.

Ashley and Liara both glance at Garrus leaning against the wall.

"You and Tali?" Ashley asks with small smile.

"Yeah, what of it?" Garrus gives a slight grin.

"I'm happy for you, both."

"Thanks."

"You hurt her; I'll know where to go to hunt you down." Ashley teases.

"I'll try to remember that. Funny story… Shepard walked in on me and Tali up-close getting ready for some real calibrations. If you know what I mean."

Liara smiles at them both. "I received some strange looks from Traynor when I was outside Shepard's cabin, early on in our mission to fight the Reapers."

"Maybe she thought you were taken, Liara?" Ashley teases.

"No! I… I get it. Funny Williams. She was more into EDI."

"I wonder how Joker's taking EDI's death." Ashley asks.

"He seemed happy just a moment ago?" Garrus says unsure. "Tali's still trying to figure out what made EDI drop dead."

They both frown at Garrus.

"I know… bad joke. I got some calibrations to do before we get to Earth." Garrus walks out of the room.

"Not once, huh?" Ashley asks.

Liara looks confused at her.

"You and Shepard never?"

"Oh, no!"

Ashley asks again. "What aren't you telling me?"

Liara just smiles.

"God… He didn't?"

"No. Gave him a gift from my mind to his… to say goodbye. He didn't even know what happened."

Ashley follows. "Anything… good in there? I mean, about me?"

They exit the room together. Liara smiles at Ashley.

"Figures. You're not going to tell me." Ashley says with slight sarcasm.

"He enjoyed playing chess with Traynor."

"I bet. He hit on her?" Ashley asks unsure she wanted to know the answer to that.

"No. We would have heard about it. You could have visited him?"

"He did come by a lot, checking up on me. I wasn't... there for him. I had a lot to figure out."

"Still regret pulling a gun on him?"

"God. Liara. Don't remind me." Ashley sighs with sadness as they stand at the mess hall's kitchen counter.

"Dinner's on me. What will it be ladies?" James smiles waiting for a reply.

Liara smiles at Ashley.

Ashley begins to smirk at Liara. "It wouldn't work."

"You didn't even try." Liara smirks at Ashley.


	3. Chapter 3: Reunion

**CHAPTER 3: REUNION**

 **HACKETT'S FLAGSHIP**

 **SHEPARD'S INTENSIVE CARE ROOM**

It had been three weeks since the Reapers defeat and Miranda did all she could for Shepard with Dr. Chakwas help. Repaired what she could, any other optional upgrades would have to wait. It was all up to him now. Only time would tell when he'd wake up from it all but Miranda was impressed with his recovery. He was breathing on his own now and stable. His wounds were healing.

The Normandy had returned to Earth. Admiral Hackett had assigned the Normandy's crew with relocating survivors and others that needed help getting adequate shelter, food and supplies.

Miranda had fallen asleep with her head resting on her arms, on the bed, next to Shepard. She was exhausted physically and mentally.

Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams stood watch outside Commander Shepard's Intensive care room, wanting to be the one inside that room when he woke up from it all. It wasn't going to happen. It wouldn't happen. Miranda Lawson was in his heart, in that place that once belonged to her. Ashley sighed looking downwards towards the floor praying he'd make it.

Dr. Chakwas quietly walks up beside her and hands her a cup of coffee.

Ashley declines. "It'll only keep me awake. I have the early shift."

"Commander Shepard health is improving and his wounds are healing. It's only a matter of time before he wakes up. Soon, you'll be able to sit and chat with him like old times."

Ashley wishing that was true. She turns and leaves meeting Liara near the end of the hall.

"Ashley, how's Shepard doing?" Liara stands next to Ashley.

"He's still not awake yet but improving."

"I'm relieved."

Ashley continues past Liara and around the corner.

 ** _Later that night_**

Shepard moved his head slightly. He was dreaming of Miranda. The smell of her hair, and slight lavender perfume she wore consumed his senses. He slowly awakens from his dream and nightmare of potentially losing her forever. His head slightly lifts up but then back down again. His head felt like a ton of bricks. He slowly but surely begins to open his eyes, trying to focus on what's around him. His vision was blurred, which made him feel dizzy and lightheaded. He closes his eyes for a moment then tries again. Several minutes past before his vision began to become clear but not perfectly sharp as it once was. He turns his head to the left of him, looking around trying to figure out where he was. He sees a woman, a woman with dark black hair. It was Miranda sleeping next to him. He looks around the room thinking he must be in some kind of hospital. He swallows finding his throat dry and sore.

Shepard slowly lifts up his right hand but was feeling extremely tired. "Miranda…" He says out loud hoarse but recognizable. "Hey…" He reached over to try to touch her but quickly moved his hand back down on the bed. His body ached in pain. "Mmhh…" He moaned. His strength wasn't nearly all there, yet. He lies back closing his eyes only briefly.

Miranda slowly moved her body upwards feeling him move and hearing his voice. Miranda gazes into Shepard eyes, the same color they had always been. A small smile appeared on her lips as they stared at each other.

"I found you… see." He swallowed. "I kept my promise."

Miranda's eyes filled with tears. She leans up out of her seat and touches his lips softly with hers. Her finger touches his cheek looking into his eyes once again. A tear runs down her cheek. "You did…"

Miranda carefully sat next to him on the bed looking over his facial expression with concern. She was feeling all sorts of emotions stirring within her. He was overcome with his own emotions. His hand moved up to touch her arm. She was real and he wasn't dreaming. Miranda leans in slightly to wipe the tear from his cheek. "You're safe now…"

"Yeah." He swallows hard. "I could use some water."

Miranda stands up and pours him a cup of water from the pitcher sitting on the nearby counter. She sniffles trying to maintain control over her emotions. She sits back down and tries to help him drink from the small white cup. He leans his head back when he had enough. "Thanks."

"Thank god you're alright." Miranda couldn't keep her eyes off him.

"I feel like I was hit by a truck." He looks at the white bandages on his arms and chest.

"The pain? Alright? I can adjust the dosage?"

"It's… manageable."

Miranda closes her eyes. "Barely…" Miranda exhales.

"Hey. Come here." He tries to moves his right hand around her to comfort her.

He slowly manages to touch her hair with his fingers, smooth as ever. "Did it work? Are they?"

"Dead? Yes."

"Good. Wasn't sure. Anderson?" Shepard asks hoping he survived.

Miranda leans up. "No. Admiral Hackett wants to wait until you're feeling better to hold the memorial. He wants you to do the honors."

"The Normandy?"

"Safe. They're all anxiously waiting to see you."

Shepard smiles at the thought. "Yeah."

"Shepard, what happened up there?"

"Stuff." He was feeling groggy and slowly closes his eyes.

"Shepard?"

"Yeah." He opens his eyes briefly.

"Love you." Miranda leans into to give him a small kiss. That quickly followed by another. Miranda caresses the side of his cheek.

Shepard could hardly keep his eyes open. "Love you too, Miranda." He began to dose off.

Miranda continues to watch him sleep.

 **WEEK 4**

Dr. Chakwas strolls through the medical bay's hallway towards Commander Shepard's private room.

Orianna was flipping through the magazine when Dr. Chakwas strolls into the room to evaluate Shepard's condition.

"Good Morning, Orianna." The door closes quietly behind her.

Orianna faintly smiles.

"How are you feeling today, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas checks his vital signs finding him slowly opening his eyes.

He watches Dr. Chakwas taking his pulse.

"Auah…" He moans slightly.

Dr. Chakwas begins adding information to the medical reports on the data pad.

Orianna places the magazine down on the chair and stands at the foot of the hospital bed. Shepard glances towards her. "Orianna…"

Orianna smiles back at him.

"Where's Miranda?" He moves his head to find her.

"I'm here, Shepard." Miranda strolls over standing in between Orianna and Dr. Chakwas.

Shepard starts to smile. "Hey."

Dr. Chakwas raises his bed a bit more into the sitting position. "You'll need to lean forward a little."

Miranda walks to the other side of his bed and gently helps him slowly move forward. Dr. Chakwas begins listening to his lungs. "Breath in deeply, Commander."

He breathes in deeply and out again.

"Again."

He does it again for a second time.

Dr. Chakwas positions her instrument in another location. "Again."

For a third time Shepard breathes in and out.

"Sound clear, Commander."

"Lie back down, Shepard." Miranda calmly but surely insists he complies. Shepard could see a faint smile leave her lips. Her eyes told him that she was barely sleeping with those dark circles under her eyes.

"Shepard. Thank you for rescuing us on Sanctuary." Orianna says warmly.

Shepard slips into his thoughts of what happened there. "I'm glad I made it in time."

Miranda could sense something was eating away at him. He was reliving moments of the war. That was evident as she watched him sleep at night. His rapid-eye movements were intense at times.

Dr. Chakwas looks at Shepard and Miranda's worried look. "Miranda, may I have a word with you in private?"

"Of course."

Miranda and Dr. Chakwas leave Shepard's private room and head into the hallway. They stand 20 ft. away from his room.

"Yes?" Miranda asked concerned folding her arms tilting her head to the side.

"I'm concerned about Commander Shepard mental state. He's been through a traumatic ordeal. It will take time for him to come to grips with what happened. I suggest he speak with one of the Alliance therapist to help him deal and get passed those issues that are troubling him."

"Why? So the Alliance can label him mentally disturbed and lock him away?" Miranda said with a bit of ire.

"No. That is not what I was suggesting. It's common for soldiers to re-experience the nightmares from battle. If not treated, he could have a mental breakdown. I want to avoid that from happening. I care about the Commander as much as you do. I want him treated with the best medical services the alliance can provide for him."

"Commander Shepard will be fine. I'm requesting he be moved and placed in my care. I'll continue to assist him further within a more suitable environment."

"I don't believe the Alliance will allow that just yet, Ms. Lawson."

Miranda turns her focus towards Shepard's room. "I suppose Commander Shepard doesn't get a say in how he wishes to live his life? Always the damn puppet to be used by the Alliance! He did what none of you could have done. If only you had listened to him, we wouldn't have been in this mess! I knew this would happen. I'm surprised the Alliance bothered to find him at all!"

"You're out of line, Ms. Lawson." Admiral Hackett walks up closer to Dr. Chakwas and watching Miranda getting a bit more emotional than necessary. He knew there was more to Shepard's order and Miranda wanting to help the alliance... Miranda just confirmed it.

Miranda tries to calm herself touching her forehead looking down at the floor.

"I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice!" Admiral Hackett approaches her with authority in his voice and stance. "And for the record, Commander Shepard has options available to him. He just saved the god-damn galaxy from a reaper invasion. Hell, were even considering promoting him. Rest assured he'll be recognized for his deeds, ten-fold."

"At least it's something." Miranda coldly responds looking back at Hackett briefly.

"Is he awake?" Hackett looks at Dr. Chakwas for confirmation.

"Last, I checked. His vitals are strong and his skin his healing with help from the synthetic skin grafts. It will take time before he's in any condition to do anything strenuous."

"How long?"

"Another two months. I'm recommending he speak with a therapist while Miranda Lawson continues to help him with his physical therapy."

"He'll remain here until he regains his strength."

Miranda shakes her head in disagreement.

Dr. Chakwas calmly walks with Admiral Hackett towards Shepard's private room.

"And Ms. Lawson?" Dr. Chakwas asks.

"She'll remain for now as well and be tasked to perform several assignments while she continues to assist with Shepard's physical therapy."

Miranda leans her back against the wall, arms folded. _Bastard._

Dr. Chakwas opens the door, Admiral Hackett proceed into the room. Orianna moves away from Shepard's bed.

Shepard slowly looks in Admiral Hackett direction standing in front of his bed. "Admiral Hackett…" Shepard raises his hand about to salute him.

"At ease…"

Shepard lowers his hand into his lap waiting for Hackett to tell him why he's here.

"Damn good work out there Commander."

"Thank you, sir."

"Almost thought we lost you…"

"Glad, I survived. Sir." Shepard said with an almost upbeat tone to it.

"Commander, we need to talk about you career in the Alliance."

He sees Miranda staring back at him with her arms folded not at all happy. "I… need some time, sir."

"You'll have that time. I'll expect an answer within a month's time. The memorial is set for two weeks from now. I expect you to work in getting your ass up and moving again. You'll be tasked with writing a memorial speech in honoring Admiral Anderson. And not to forget the men and woman who gave their lives in fighting the reapers. That is your assignment. I won't take no for an answer. I'll read it over and make sure you have you're I's and t's crossed so there will be no wrong interpretations when it's delivered."

"I understand." Shepard seemed more confident and respective of Admiral Hackett's presence.

Hackett starts to turn and leave but stops. "One more thing…"

Shepard perks up and listens even though he was feeling a bit drowsier than before.

"All charges have been dropped in regards to that mishap with the batarians. Don't let it happen again, Commander Shepard."

"I won't, sir."

Admiral Hackett leaves without another word.

Dr. Chakwas steps forward. "We'll begin your physical therapy training this afternoon. If you need me, I'll be down the hall."

"Thanks, doc."

"Let me know when you're ready for visitors, Commander."

"I will." Shepard watches Miranda step inside the room, lost in her own thoughts.

"Ori, can you give us a minute?" Miranda asks.

"Sure. I'll go get breakfast." Orianna leaves.

Miranda watches the door close. Miranda folds her arms standing near the middle of the room.

"Miranda." Shepard calls out to her. "Come here."

Miranda didn't move. She turned her head away from him and stood there, thinking.

"I'm sorry. You being here… means everything to me."

Miranda turns her head towards him. She releases her arms and walks over towards him. "What's our next move?"

"You and me together but on our terms, remember?"

"Shepard. I… I've been asked to help rebuild Earth."

"That's good. You'll do fine." Shepard reassures her.

"I want to take you away from all this… The good news, Hackett let it go… my affiliations with Cerberus. I don't know. Trust is not easy for me." She looks around the room.

"I understand. A nice long vacation with my fiancé is in order." Shepard tries to make the mood a little brighter with a proposal.

"I can't believe this is real." Miranda sits down next to him. "But I'm grateful."

Shepard begins to dose off trying to stay awake. Shepard struggles to say something. "It… it didn't look good."

"Shepard." Miranda watches him fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4: Restoration

**CHAPTER 4: RESTORATION**

 **WEEK 5**

Reconstruction plans were well on their way. Plans were being drawn up for restoring parts of London, Vancouver and other cities around Earth. It was going to take a very long time but they weren't going to do this alone. Plans for restoring the damaged citadel wards were also going to take time. The Alliance search and rescue relocated the survivors left on board the citadel wards to other less damaged wards. Many of them were evacuated to various starships until more permanent residences could be established on Earth, the Citadel or other worlds with better and more sound infrastructure.

While the Turians, Krogans and the Asari began rebuilding their own cities… many other races also offered to help Earth in any way they could.

 **HACKETT'S FLAG SHIP**

Hackett's flag ship was busy as ever. People were coming and going doing and what was expected of them. Alliance crew members were hard at work coordinating with teams on earth and the citadel.

Admiral Hackett sits at his desk with the updated report Dr. Chakwas had given him. It contained Miranda Lawson's assessment of Commander Shepard condition.

* * *

 **Commander Shepard condition**

 _Patient is showing remarkable improvement._

 _Patient is more alert, awake, and less drowsy but still taking pain medications orally._

 _Patient has been administered anti-anxiety medication daily to reduce the onset of (PTSD) that commonly occurs with a traumatic event._

 _Patient is eating and drinking. Appetite has returned._

 _Daily vitamin supplements have been issued._

 ** _Skin needs requirements_**

 _Patient continues to keep skin hydrated and clean to prevent dry, itchy patches. Skin will be lubricated daily for two to three more months with mineral oil._

 _Patient will wear arm sleeves, and glove stockings to support the skin graft. This is to aid and support the graft after healing and to decrease the amount of contracture._

 **Physical therapy 5 times a week**

 _Physical therapy has begun with small exercises and muscular massages._

 _Patient can walk short distances and will improve dramatically with each passing week._

 _Patient continues to receive muscular massage treatments weekly with Mineral oils._

 _Patient is walking on treadmill, increasing in intensity as we continue monitoring his heart rate._

 _Dumbbells usage for upper arms strength has been issued._

 _Weight lifting machines will be used and closely monitored for safe use with arms, back and legs._

 **Psychotherapy**

 _Patient continues to experience flashbacks, intense at times… even through REM sleep and awake but subdued with anti-anxiety medication._

 _Patient has described his ordeal of what happened and shows signs of improvement. We will continue to monitor his mental state as time passes._

* * *

Admiral Hackett places the data pad on to the desk and leans back. "And what's your assessment of Commander Shepard?"

"He's doing well with Miranda Lawson as his doctor and care giver. She's been under a considerable about of stress and worry but is handling him as a professional."

Admiral Hackett stands up from his chair. "They're involvement goes beyond that…"

"Yes, they've bonded during their time fighting the collectors."

"Romantically?" He steps out from behind his desk.

"Yes, I do believe so. She's the reason he's still alive and continues to improve." Dr. Chakwas steps forward.

"Commander Shepard needs to be ready. The memorial service isn't going to go well if he's still a broken man. He needs get with the program and in his duty to the Alliance."

"He will be."

"Good. He needs to be honored for what he's done and not for who he's been associated with in the past."

Dr. Chakwas thought over Admiral Hackett's words carefully.

 **MEDICAL BAY/REHAB CENTER**

Miranda stands next to Shepard as he walks slowly on the treadmill, hooked up to heart monitoring machine to gauge his performance. He had regained much of his mobility over the last two weeks. Miranda seemed hopeful.

Commander Shepard's physical therapy was marginally successful. Miranda helped him with small exercises at first gradually increasing the repetitions followed by deep muscular massages afterwards. He continued to experience flashbacks, intense at times but subdued with anti-anxiety medication.

Miranda had pushed Commander Shepard to get better with more challenging exercises. He had to be better, stronger and less needy of her. He had a speech to give in a couple of days. She couldn't do it for him. He needed to do this on his own but still had no clue what he was going to say.

"Shepard. I'm increasing the intensity a little." Miranda taps on the controls increase the slope and speed one level. "If it's too much…"

"I'm fine. I found you, remember?"

Miranda smirked and teased him a little. "Ordering people to find me and bring me to you wasn't the plan."

"So I improvised." Shepard starts to walk a little bit faster with his hands to his side.

"But I'm glad I'm… here, with you."

"Me too. You're the reason. I did it for us… and… and to stop them."

Miranda knew he was trying to deal with his anxiety of what happened. He still resisted talking about anything that had happened up there. There was something he wasn't telling her. She knew he needed more help psychological than she could provide but she wasn't about to let anyone label him a broken man. He'd come around, he had to.

"I understand, Shepard. Feeling alright?" Miranda asks watching the heart rate monitor spike.

Shepard gives off a slight grin as he keeps up with the machine.

Miranda smiles at him. "I admit… had me worried, Shepard. Not use to it."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. Okay. That's enough for now. We'll continue this level tomorrow." Miranda taps on the controls bringing him into the cool-down period of the exercise.

"Sounds good." Shepard replies as the angle decreases slowly over time until it stops.

Miranda hands him a towel to wipe off his face. He takes it and rubs his face and bald head placing it around the back of his neck.

Shepard asks with a slight grin. "So, you going to kiss me?"

"Shepard." Miranda takes off the heart monitor buttons from his chest.

"Now would be good." He grins.

Miranda smirks looking around bit.

"Nervous, Ms. Lawson?"

"Not quite sure I could contain myself with just one." She moves away from him and places the devices on the table.

"Good." His hand touches her hips.

Miranda moves a little closer to him. _Well, this is an improvement… or simply masking the problem._ So she thought. Miranda leans in kissing his lips. His hand touches her silky soft hair. They kiss again slowly. Miranda leans back breaking the kiss looking into his eyes.

Shepard caresses her cheek. "I love you."

Miranda smiles at him. "I saved your life, twice now."

"I'm worth it."

Miranda's hand runs down his chest. Miranda glances back into his eyes leaning in to kiss his lips softly. Miranda starts to leave with his hand in hers.

"What's next?" Shepard asks walking with her towards his room down the hall.

"I need to get you back to your room. I've got a meeting with Alliance brass… surprisingly. And you need to finish your assignment for Admiral Hackett."

They enter inside his room. He was getting tired of looking at the same four walls. "Great. I'll be..." Shepard sighs sitting down on one of the sofas.

"I'll be back in a few hours." Miranda winks at him. "I promise." Miranda smiles at him.

Shepard watches her leave. "Fine…" Shepard ran his palm over her eyes and up over his head. He grabs the magazine on the table next to the sofa. Looking through it… trying to pass the time.

 **HACKETT'S FLAGSHIP**

 **HALLWAY**

Ashley watches Miranda Lawson head towards one of the conference rooms and enters inside. The room was surrounded by clear white glass. Hackett was at the center of the room with other Alliance brass personnel. Ashley couldn't think of a better time to visit Shepard.

Shepard hadn't requested any visitors since he woke up. They'd come by but he wasn't up for it. Ashley wanted to see him, even if, it was through glass. Just to know he was alright gave her some sense of relief.

Ashley walks down towards the Medical bay. She sees Dr. Chakwas talking with another doctor. Ashley didn't stop to talk but stopped at the open door to his room. She leaned against the door watching him tap on the data pad looking at something.

He taps at it again… glances up not once but twice. "Ash." She was wearing that red and white military outfit. It looked good on her.

"Commander." Ashley notes his eyes retreat back into the data pad he was working on. She thought he looked different wearing those dark blue jogging pants and a black t-shirt and white sneakers. She did note the tan colored gloves and arm sleeves on each arm. She wasn't even sure what they're for, support maybe.

"What is it, Ash?"

"Mind if, I come in?" Ashley asks hesitantly.

He taps on the data pad a bit more not answering the question.

"Wasn't sure when you wanted a visitor… was updating Admiral Hackett on orders he'd given me. We're helping the survivors on Earth. He… left me in charge of the Normandy."

"Fine." He continued to not look at her. He was trying hard not to relieve any of those moments on earth.

"Glad you made it, skipper."

Shepard in fit of anger tosses the data pad at the right side of the wall… cracking the view screen as it lands down on to the floor. "Yeah… Thanks for stopping by Ash." He leans forward rubbing his forehead with his right hand.

"Shepard." Ashley was shocked at his behavior. "Talk to me…"

"I can't, Ash. I don't want you to see me like this."

Ashley walks closer. "You'll get through this. You were there for me when I was in the hospital. I just wanted to return the favor."

"I need to be alone! Getting tired… Just leave." He leans back turning his head to the right looking anywhere but at her. Shepard began to feel uncomfortable and agitated with her presence.

Ashley knew he wasn't himself. He didn't even look at her. He was angry and withdrawn. Sadness showed on her face. "We're proud of you. We all are. We need you back."

"Are you deaf, Ash? I told you to go." He stands up pointing towards the door. "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Dr. Chakwas walks up to her. "Lieutenant Commander Williams. Outside, now..."

Shepard couldn't stop reliving that moment before he made his push to the beam. _"Take care Ash."_ Shepard turns and sat back down on the sofa rubbing his eyes with his hand.

Ashley and Dr. Chakwas leave the room leaving Shepard alone. As they walk down the hallway towards the main lobby. Ashley stops. "What the hell happened to him?" She asked concerned and worried.

"He's dealing with a lot right now. What happened on the Citadel, the war, it's taking a toll on him, mentally. We need to give him time to heal."

"Damn it. The Normandy isn't the same without him." Ashley comments. "We all miss him."

"I'll inform you when he's ready for visitors." Dr. Chakwas insists walking her to the medical lab's exit.

"I won't give up on the Commander. He needs to fight this. Whatever the hell it is." Ashley scowls as the door closes.

Miranda was not pleased when she found out that Ashley had snuck in to see Shepard. Miranda folds her arms. "And you let her walk right in there without my consent?"

"I was distracted with other patients and doctors needing my expertise. I hadn't realized anyone snuck past until, Commander Shepard started yelling at her to get out of his room."

"Alright."

"I still stand by my recommendation that Commander Shepard seek help with a trained therapist. He's emotionally distant and nearly became violent with Ashley."

This surprised Miranda more than anything. The level of anger within him had surface but why and what triggered it to happen.

"Miranda, dear. I've noted that he only responds positively when you're with him. He needs to deal with these issues not by ignoring them and hoping they go away on their own."

"Don't you think I know that?" Miranda unfolds her arms and scratches her right forearm.

"I honestly don't know how you manage to do it. Function, it's overwhelming emotionally seeing him like this. He's not the same Commander Shepard, I once knew."

"He's still him. Just… needs time." Miranda wanted to believe it. It was difficult for her see him like this but years of training to become emotionally unattached wasn't working that well. She loved him but it was hurting her inside. "He's trying… even flirted with me." Miranda faintly smiles.

Dr. Chakwas was a little surprised by the thought. "A good sign if he's trying to deal with his emotions rather than hiding from them. Has he finished his assignment for Admiral Hackett?"

"No but he will." Miranda left without another word.

Miranda Lawson walks casually toward Shepard's room. She found him sleeping on the nearby sofa. She walks over towards the data pad she notes lying on the floor. She picked it up. The screen was cracked but still functional it seemed.

She leans back against the wall with her arms folded still holding the broken data pad. She glances at Shepard. "Shepard, wake up." Miranda voice was cold and stern.

Shepard started to blink his eyes open. "Why?" His tone was low and annoyed.

"You need to talk about what's going on with you. If not me, then, an alliance therapist will have to suffice. I don't like it but this needs to be resolved… you need to get off that damn sofa and start acting like the man I love."

Shepard moved his body and sat up. "What good does it do to relieve it all? The pain will still be there. They'd still all be dead. I'm here, alive. What else matters?"

Miranda releases her arms and walks over to him tossing the data pad on to his chest. "Finish your assignment. Now! I'll wait here until you do. Then we'll talk about what's really bothering you. And I won't take no for an answer, Commander Shepard." She folds her arms looking at him with that look that she meant what she said. Miranda wasn't backing down.

Shepard adjusted himself on the sofa taking the data pad in his hand. "I have. Just don't know what to write." He frowned. He ran his hand over his bald head scratching in. He stared at the floor for a moment.

Miranda sat down on the sofa next to him. "You knew him better than anyone. He was your captain, your mentor… you told me once you looked up to him. That he believed in you when no one else would give you an ear. He was proud of you. It's not that difficult, Commander."

Shepard remained quiet for a while quietly contemplating his thoughts.

He focuses and pulls himself back. "We… many of us didn't even make it to the final push. I watched a lot of Alliance soldiers; get burned to ash from Harbingers red beams as it scorched the earth."

That explained the burns on his arms and armor at least to Miranda's understanding.

Shepard takes a deep breathe. "Nearly got Ashley and Liara killed on our push to the beam." Tears filled his eyes. "I ordered them to leave… to the Normandy. I had to know someone was getting out of this alive… I kept going. I don't know how… nearly burned alive, from the red beam; I woke up… almost made it before I saw them. Husks running towards me, three of them, almost didn't kill them in time. It was too good to be true. Remember getting shot by one of those turian indoctrinated beasts... caught me off guard. I killed it… everything was a blur. I made it."

Miranda listens trying to make sense of this. "Where did you end up?"

"An unknown part of the Citadel. I don't know where… but the keepers were there combing through the bodies. The stench of death all around me… dead human remains everywhere… I felt like death but something brought me back."

Miranda could only think of one thing, the back-up system within him must have kicked in. "What else did you find?" She asks cautiously.

Shepard closes his eyes feeling tired. He exhaled. "It… was… difficult to move but I had to keep going. Anderson was there… said he followed me up. I don't know how. Maybe the heart of the Citadel. Lights everywhere it seemed.

"Sounds like your body was in shock from the trauma." Miranda responds.

"I don't know. I found Anderson at the controls. The Illusive man wasn't far behind me." Shepard closes and opens his eyes again barely. "He told me about how he could control the reapers. He had indoctrinated himself with Reaper tech… His neck and face was evident of that. They were controlling him!" Shepard winces in pain.

"He even tried to control me… indoctrinate me. Had my own gun pointed at Anderson…" Shepard moves his head back and forth. "He had to prove his power by firing that gun, using me to put a bullet into Anderson chest."

"My god…"

"I couldn't stop it!" Shepard was in considerable about of distress with tears in his eyes.

She wipes the tear from his face. "Shepard. Listen to me. You didn't kill him. It was the Reapers controlling the Illusive man. Don't blame yourself."

"I. Know." Shepard swallowed hard and nodded in agreement. "He wasn't listening to reason… went on about how much he sacrificed to save humanity. He sacrificed too much! He was going to kill Anderson from behind but I stopped him. I shot the Illusive man. Dead."

"He needed to be stopped." Miranda tries to comfort him.

Shepard breathes in deeply. "We both sat there looking at Earth. Anderson was proud… of me." He said getting very agitated and emotional. "You did good, kid."

Miranda leans in kissing his cheek and hugged him to comfort him as he startled to lose himself in releasing his emotions he never let anyone see, ever. "You did the impossible Shepard. You kept your promise."

"You brought me back." His hand touches her back.

"It wasn't just me, Shepard." Miranda leans back and looks into his eyes caressing his face. "I had a lot of help."

"Take the credit, Miranda… for once."

Miranda smirks at him. "I have… you, too, Shepard."

Miranda notes his hypersensitivity to what he experienced. She stands up and walks over towards the counter and takes two pills into her hand with a cup of water. Miranda hands Shepard the small cup with the pills in it.

"What's this?" He asks with hesitation feeling every nerve within his body shaking making him very uncomfortable.

"It's to help you calm your nerves. You'll be fine." Miranda says reassuring him.

Shepard looks at Miranda trying to rationalize it. He dumps the pills into his mouth and takes the sip of water.

Miranda sat down next to him. "Time to rest, Shepard. I'll be here. I promise."

He slowly closes his eyes with Miranda resting next to him.

Miranda was going to help him get through this without some Alliance shrink she had no trust in. Shepard trusted her explicitly.

A few hours of uninterrupted sleep would do wonders for both their body and mind, now that the worst was over.


	5. Chapter 5: Recompense

**CHAPTER 5: RECOMPENSE**

 **TWO DAYS LATER**

The reward ceremony was an emotional day for everyone. Many lost their lives to the Reapers; many were left homeless, broken and damaged. But one thing was certain. They survived the biggest known threat in the galaxy. Many stories of the heroes were discussed and talked about that day. Heroic sacrifices on Earth, Palavan, Thessia and the Krogan homeworld had many to thank for the victories they now share with each other. Many men and woman stood strong and stood fast fighting for freedom. To break the cycle of Reaper's harvesting of controlling their destiny but no more. The reapers were finished. Dead. Humanity, the entire galaxy survived. The worst was over.

"One man, a hero brought us our future, he wasn't alone in the fight. He rallied many races within our galaxy to fight! He urged each other to put down our old grievances, for a single goal, a purpose. To come together, united, and to defeat the reapers! That man is alive and here with us today and we owe him a great debt of thanks, gratitude and forgiveness for everything he's sacrificed. The hard times he's been through and the shit he was put through to give us our future."

The Alliance Admiral steps away from the podium and walks up to Commander Shepard dressed in his royal blue alliance uniform. "Jonathan Shepard, I hereby honor you with this Medal of Honor." He begins placing the blue ribbon over his head. "You have gone above and beyond the call of duty at the risk of your own life by courage and intrepidity. Your never wavering determination to get the job done! We can never repay you for everything you've done but we'll damn well try."

Shepard bows his head in acceptance.

Lieutenant Ashley Williams steps up to the podium. "I knew Commander Shepard when we first met on Eden Prime. My entire squad died but here he is… coming to the rescue like he did for so many other civilians… men and woman in the military. Jonathan Shepard fought for what he believed in… not just you and me but for everyone. His strength, determination, courage and never accepting defeat make him the perfect candidate for this next award. He went where no else would. Sacrificed so much so that others could see tomorrow. To have a future where his seemed bleak. Wounded in battle but not in spirit, he persevered. He has always been the one we run to, the hero we need. An unstoppable force to bring hope to those that lost it along the way. He gave us that hope. This man… brought peace between the geth and the quarians… a war that lasted 300 years. He rallied the Krogans to help the Turian take back their home from the Reapers. The Krogans now free from the genophage will honor Commander Shepard's sacrifice and the loss of his dear friend, Mordin Solus. The man standing before us won us our future. I'm honored to have served alongside you, Commander Shepard. On behalf of the Normandy's crew, the alliance, and everyone here today, we thank you. It was an honor to serve with you sir!" Ashley salutes him.

Shepard returns the salute. Ashley places the purple gold star ribbon around his neck. "Congratulation, Shepard."

"Thanks, Ashley." Jonathan Shepard proceeds towards the podium. He looks out towards the men and woman of the alliance and addresses them.

"It wouldn't be right for me to stand here and accept all these awards without the man that helped groom me from the start. Admiral David Anderson. He went above and beyond the call of duty. He rallied the resistance movement on Earth. He fought for survival and freedom. He knew the sacrifices that would be made. The men and woman that followed him knew the stakes. Knew they may not survive this war. He was more than an alliance soldier, more than an admiral, a husband, a father. He was my captain. My mentor. My friend. He was like a father to me. His love of the Alliance made me proud to be counted as an alliance soldier. I honor his memory today. We made together… or rather he was keeping my ass in line until the very end. He offered advice when I needed it, when I didn't need it and pushed me to keep me fighting. He was born here in London in 2137. He was the first graduate of the N7 marine program at Arcturus station. Received honors from his service in the First Contact War. He later became executive officer of the SSV Hastings. He was promoted to Captain of the SSV Normandy and decided I was to be his XO. It was an honor to be his friend. He believed in me when others didn't about the threat we'd face. He listened and never gave up hope. He fought with honor and courage. I, on behalf of the Alliance award him with the Purple Heart and Medal of Honor."

Shepard bows his head in quiet prayer.

 **MILITARY BANQUET GATHERING**

Commander Shepard walks over towards Miranda Lawson grabbing a plate of food. He touches her back gently. "Hey beautiful." He whispers in her ear.

Miranda turns her head and smiles at him. Her eyes glance up and down over his uniform. "Heart felt speech."

"Thanks." He tosses a small chunk of cheese into his mouth. He places various food on his plate following Miranda to a nearby table.

The room was loud with many people talking with each other. Ashley and Vega walk over towards Commander Shepard's table with Garrus and Liara not far behind.

"Hey loco."

"I told you not to call me that, James." Shepard replies watching them all sit down.

"Loco?" Miranda asks.

"Hey, frosty… How you holding up?"

"What?" Miranda gave him a glare.

"Careful Vega." Shepard starts to grin.

"It was that or legs." Vega smiles at Commander Shepard grinning.

"God, don't you have anything better to do." Ashley replies to Vega sitting next to her.

"Yeah, if you're buying." Vega teases Ashley.

"Ugh." Ashley sighs in disgust.

Shepard faintly smiles.

"It's good to see you again, Ms. Lawson. How's Orianna?" Liara asks sitting next to her.

"Fine. She's putting her college education of colony development to good use." Miranda takes a sip of her water.

"Bos'het. Garrus, you didn't even save me a seat." Tali stands next to Garrus with her hands on her hips.

Garrus stands up and takes a seat from the nearby table and moves it next to his. "There you are dear… happy now?"

"Fine." Tali sits down next to Garrus and Liara.

Miranda thinks to herself and looks at Shepard curiously.

"They're dating." Commander Shepard replies.

"Really?" Miranda plays with her salad with her fork taking another bite to eat. "Last I recall she got drunk, singing or something."

"Don't remind me." Garrus states.

"Commander Shepard. Congratulation on your awards." A woman with a strong London accent approaches him from opposite sides of the table.

Shepard smiles up at Traynor. "Thanks Traynor. Join us?"

Ashley moves over closer to Vega much to her distain.

"Hey." Vega teases. "Any closer... you can sit on my lap."

"In your dreams, Vega." Ashley remarks sarcastically.

"Thanks Commander. Hello everyone."

Everyone nods.

Miranda raises an eyebrow at Shepard.

"Samantha Traynor meet Miranda Lawson."

"Hello. It's finally good to match the face to several the emails Shepard received. He's told me so much about you. Well, not really but it's a pleasure."

Miranda smirks noticing the accent. "Yes. He's told me absolutely nothing about you."

Shepard chuckles slightly knowing just how jealous Miranda can be. "She's… was my communication specialist and she's into women."

"Oh? Really." Miranda smirks then takes another sip of her water.

"He's not that good of a chess player. Real life combat situations don't necessary apply to Chess, do they commander?"

Miranda raises another eyebrow.

Shepard says absolutely nothing.

"Smart move, Shepard." Jacob replies.

"Jacob." Miranda replies with a smile.

"Good seeing you guys… We'll catch up… I have to get back…"

"Not a problem." Miranda adds.

Jacob says making his way towards the table across the room.

"HEY… look the gang's all here. Miss me, Princess." Jack stands behind Miranda and Shepard.

"Not particularly." Miranda replies.

"Hey, love you too. Just came by to say thanks. So. Thanks. Shepard."

"Thank you, Jack."

"Whatever. I owe you one." Jack says before heading off to meet with her "kids."

"Eh." He says a bit uncomfortable.

"I hear you're working as a consultant for the Alliance. In the reconstruction phases here on earth?"

Miranda turns her head to Traynor. "Yes, with Orianna's designs and my team coordinating the reconstruction and allocating the necessary supplies. We should have a city wide block done sometime next year."

"Nice work shutting down the Cerberus bastards." Ashley comments.

Miranda didn't respond but Liara interrupted just in time. "I've seen the plans. It will make for a lovely addition to Vancouver's reconstruction efforts. Let me know if you need anything, Miranda. Shepard."

"Thanks Liara." Shepard replies sincerely.

Liara smiles faintly. "This was nice… getting everyone together again. Like old times."

"Yeah." Garrus replies and quietly looking around the table.

"It's getting rather late and we need to pick up Orianna." Miranda starts to get up.

"Yeah." Shepard gets up as well. "Thanks. I… I enjoyed this."

Everyone nods at them.

"Good seeing you, Shepard." Garrus smiles at him.

"You to, Garrus… Thanks. Couldn't have done it without you. Without any of you… it means a lot. Knowing you're here… alive." Shepard said with almost tears in his eyes.

Liara stands up. "Shepard." She gives him a heartfelt hug.

"Take care, Liara."

"Shepard. We really need to go." Miranda insists.

Shepard smiles at them and walks away from the table hand in hand with Miranda Lawson.

"Something tells me Loco's gonna get some."

They all look at Vega.

"What?"

"Augh." Ashley sighs. "Don't remind me."

"Yeah, I know. How about you and me…" Vega flirts with Ashley.

"Not happening." Ashley gets up. "Liara? Traynor? Coming?"

Liara, Traynor and Ashley leave the together laughing.

"What I miss?" Vega asks.

Garrus starts to laugh. "Everything…"

Tali couldn't believe what happened either. "You're an idiot Vega. Come with me Garrus, We've got some of our own calibrations to work out."

Garrus stands up. "Again?"

"Yes, you need the practice."

"I suppose I could get behind that idea."

"You better." Tali replies.

 **UNDISCLOSED LOCATION**

A small yellow air craft fighter jet slowly enters inside a large underground bunker hidden from view. The large metal door closes sealing them inside as the lights brightly illuminate the room. Miranda taps on a few controls as the engines cease each of them existing the craft.

Shepard asks looking around the empty hanger bay. "This the place?"

Miranda walks towards the exit into the heart of the facility. "A private facility I had built…"

"Is this what you did with the alliance resources?"

"Not quite." Miranda stands at the door and taps in a security code and has her eye scanned.

"The shadow broker said you were helping take down Cerberus forces? And working with former associates?"

"They needed to be stopped. And yes, for a while."

The door clicks open.

Miranda steps inside. "We can talk about it later…"

Shepard follows her inside. Miranda taps the console closing and securing the door. They proceed down a small hallway ending up inside a large open facility.

The room had an open floor plan design, bright and spacious. Staircases surrounded by white trimmed glass on either side of the hallway exit. With tall potted trees.

Shepard steps in closer to find a large sunken/2-step living room in the middle of the room with plants, sofas, bookcases. On the right side of the room was a large kitchen area. In the back of the room, there were desk in each corner with large vid screens and terminals in the middle.

"Hello, Shepard." Orianna came walking up towards the kitchen taking bottled water from the refrigerator.

Shepard turns back towards Miranda. "Had to pick up Orianna, Miranda?"

"Relatively speaking." Miranda walks over towards the security panel near the hallway and activates the security system.

"How do you like the place?" Orianna asks then taking a sip of her water.

"Ahh. It's a nice, expensive looking place."

"Yes, it is." Miranda smirks. "It comes with a quantum entanglement communication, fully functional kitchen, and other necessities. Our very own command center, if need be."

Shepard looks around and nods approvingly. "I guess I could get use to this."

"Good because I'm not letting you out of my sight." Miranda jokes mildly.

Orianna laughs out loud.

"Okay! That's one way to make me a little paranoid." Shepard grins slightly.

"Shepard, it was a joke." Orianna pikes up.

"I got that. Going to give me a tour or should I just stumble around in the dark?"

Miranda smirks mischievously. "Oh, most likely. It's been… a long day. Good night, Ori."

Orianna smiles heading towards her apartment complex just down the hall.

Miranda takes Shepard by the hand and walks up the stairs while enjoying the view. Miranda smiles looking back at Shepard and that sexy grin of his. They reach the top of the stairs and walk towards the door directly ahead. She opens the door and flicks on the lights.

 **MIRANDA'S BEDROOM**

Miranda's bedroom was elegantly decorated with expensive tastes. A small sitting arrangement surrounds the middle of the room on the left with a small electric fireplace against the left side of the wall. Paintings of Illium's architectural skyscrapers take up most of the available wall near the left end of the room.

Two comfy chairs sit on each corner of the left wall full of bookcase near the door's entrance.

"Nice." Shepard admires the layout.

"Get comfortable. I'll be out in a minute." Miranda winks at him as she heads into the large bathroom to the right.

Shepard grins. The carpet was black and very fluffy to the touch and most likely between their toes. The walls were a light purple. Lighting had that romantic kind of feel too it. He walks over towards the medium-sized fish tank positioned on the right side of the room. A lot of exotic fish swim in and around. The sound of the water bubbling was soothing and relaxing.

Miranda walks out of the bathroom wearing a sexy black lingerie. Miranda licks her lips as she walks over towards him.

Shepard runs his hand over his head looking back at Miranda. His raises his eyebrows in appreciation and grins accordingly.

"It's been far too long…" Miranda touches his chest with her bare fingers. Helping him take off his alliance blue's military suit placing it on the nearby sofa. Standing now, in just his black boxers.

"Miranda." He touches her chin with affection. "I missed this. Us."

"Me too." She tilts her head looking up into his eyes. "I wanted to be there... with you."

"It doesn't matter now."

"It does, Shepard."

"Honestly, it was lonely without you... Even harder thinking I wouldn't make it back."

"It gave you a reason… to fight for us, a reason to live, to survive."

"Yes." He caresses her cheek. "I'm alive because of you. I love you, Miranda Lawson. I'll always want you in my life."

Miranda smiles. "I'm glad you're alright. Better?"

"I will be… it was hard seeing them."

"I know." She lifts up his chin and kisses his lips.

He looks into her beautiful blue eyes. "You'll kick my ass if, I screw up."

Miranda chuckles at him. "Trouble seems to follow you everywhere."

"Fair enough but I hope not."

Miranda takes his hand in her as they make their way over to her bed. She slips the black covers back. She turns and looks at him. "Make love to me, Jon."

He leans in and kisses her lips. His fingers slip down her black straps of her lingerie. It falls to the ground. His fingers run down her soft skin of her arms and over her firm medium-sized breasts as they kiss slowly. Miranda was aroused with pleasure. Her fingers touch his chest; chin as she kisses him with more and more passion.

She lies down in bed as he slips off his black underwear. His member stands at attention as he slips into her. His warm hand runs up and down her thigh as he thrust within her. She moves and straddles his pelvis.

He smirks.

Her hands move up and down his chest before leaning down to kiss his lips.

Shepard caresses her back holding her gently within his arms as they kisses passionately missing each other's touch.

"God, I missed you." Shepard replies as they continue to kiss not getting enough of each other's lips.

"Ahhh…" Miranda gasped out loud at the sensations he was invoking in her. Long forgotten but it was coming to a head much sooner than she wanted but she couldn't stop it.

"Uhh…" Jon Shepard was about to release himself. "Mm." Shepard moans breathing heavily as he releases himself into her.

Miranda lies on his chest as her breathing returns to normal all the while he caresses her back lovingly reveling in the feeling the emotions of happiness and fulfillment. "I love you…"

Miranda kisses his lips. "Love you too."

"Pinch me." Shepard replies looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"What?" Miranda smiles warmly at him.

"I must be dreaming." His hand touches her cheek.

Miranda's hand slips down and pinches his nipple.

"Ow!" Shepard calls out caught off guard.

"Still dreaming?"

He leans up and kisses her lips. "Nah, I'm good."

Miranda kisses his lips. "Rest up, you'll need it. Not done with you, yet."

"Bring it on, Lawson." He smirks.


End file.
